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Took myself apart;

A razor blade and morphine.

Therapist’s advice;

A self-actualization exercise.


Started with the brain;

My grey matter matters.

Sadly, to patent it

I need to create a universe first.


My hands, well,

They are asymmetrical and tiny.

On a cold day, I could

Trade both for an iPod.


A hand and a leg,

Talk about the lever.

I need this one for the booze

So No, can’t feed the dogs.


The nipples,

Tiny bastards;

Probably registered zero value

On my USD6000 worth.


I took myself apart,

A razor blade and morphine.

My heart is non-existent;

So the tour was in vain.


That is why I circled the world

One and a half times.

Told her, Give Me Two Dollars Now,

Will Give You Myself And Some Change.


Girls are paranoid and cynical,

Yeah, read that somewhere.

Or maybe I just need two dollars

And some change.

©HerbertUba2017

My Multimeter. Bought this baby last year when I was overzealous about RC planes. Now I’m just a frustrated philosopher and I could give you all the Kardashians if you hacked that thingy to measure my blood pressure instead. Maybe I should just prick myself with the pointy ends. You know, like a DIY thingy. Maybe I’ll make a YouTube video about it. Let’s see! In the meantime, please don’t buy shit you don’t use. There are people starving in the world. Wait, what’s the connection here? Exactly! ROTFFL

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